Brad Stanton

Funeral Humor


Two brothers who lived in a city were so mean, hateful, cruel and nasty that after one brother died, the other brother had a hard time finding a preacher willing to do the funeral. Finally he came up with the idea of donating to the preacher’s church before asking him to do it.

He gave a five thousand dollar check to a preacher and asked him to do the funeral. The preacher reluctantly agreed. “But you will have to agree to say my brother was a saint” the man said to the preacher. Again, the preacher agreed, but even more reluctantly.

The day of the funeral the surviving brother went to the graveside and listened intently as the preacher spoke. He was aghast when the preacher began saying a list of true, but very uncomplimentary things about the deceased.  “This man was a scoundrel, a philanderer, he cheated on his wife, stole from his parents and harassed many people in this town. But compared to his brother, he was a saint!”

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28 comments

  6. A couple of soetirs:I was the best man at a wedding where toward the end there was a congregational singing of Trust and Obey .At my brother Pat’s wedding There were many very funny things. The grooms family toured Niagra falls with the groom and almost missed the wedding for starters. The bride’s family were a mixed group of Catholic and atheists. Since neither the bride nor groom was catholic and there was no C of C in town the wedding was at an Evangelical free church where some of the bridesmaids went. They had congregational singing but only us church of Christ people knew the songs, so, in the middle of that the bride went and passsed out songbooks. During the vows, a candle fell into a glass globe and exploded sending glass over the back half of the auditorium. Someone sang Sunrise Sunset where one of the lines is Is this the little boy I carried . Actually my brother is adopted so that did not apply. The reception was at a fellowship’ hall at the catholics church. Half the party got lost on the way. During the reception, the catholics did not know what to do with us folks from Texas. There was a dance and the DJ was certain that Pat’s parent wer having a spat because everytime he tried to have the parents dance James and Lois would disapear. Kathy really bonded with my family after the experience in Ohio. I would describe the wedding as a series of unfortunate events, although they have remained married for twelve years now. My dad officiated a wedding where a bee got in the veil at an outdoor wedding and created a stir. Kathy went to a wedding of an aquaintance and ended up being the coordiantor on the spot. I could go on and on but I will leave it at, I felt lucky that the only thing that happened at our wedding was they forgot to record the singing. Maybe in part because of the professional camera crew in the second row that was blinding most the people and blocking the view of the rest. James Kathy

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